we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
