I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
