After last night, I could never be a politician.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
3 2 1 whiskey
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
