I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
