He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
this boner is exhausting
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
