Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
