There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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