i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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