My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
