Got a toothbrush?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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