we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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