pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
