hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Be still, my beating vagina.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
