she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize