Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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