I want to make a zoo with you.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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