No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
