they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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