Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
