i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
