After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We left the knife in your bed.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
