I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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