Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
