Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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