Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize