I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
