he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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