Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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