the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
