I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Say something about gay babies.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
