We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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