This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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