they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
