Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
