i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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