He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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