so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
