I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
