just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I touched a dick in church today
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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