it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
