Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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