and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
