My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
