i just had sex bonerless
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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