ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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