This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
