You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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