Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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