One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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