Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
