Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
