All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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