Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
