Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
