things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
