Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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