my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm just crazy horny about you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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