Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
