You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i dont even know how to be here
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
