Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
