We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
