Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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