she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just invented taco cereal.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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