then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
They have beer where we have blood.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize